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A Life Aloft
03-13-2011, 01:37 AM
I am taking this opportunity to wish my dear friend, a Happy Birthday, as his special day is coming up very soon. He is a quiet man. A sensitive man. Thoughtful and caring, always there for others and very reserved. He likes kittens and rainbows and silly love songs. His hero is the Pope. His favorite food is yogurt with happy little love sprinkles on top. He is always tactful, tasteful and refined. He is still a virgin and saving himself for the right woman and he has never, even once, had a drink of alcohol. He spends his free time saving the whales and treating homeless women to chicken dinners at Popeyes. I can only hope that one day I will be as wonderful as he truly is and that is what I aspire to be. He is the wind beneath my wings. That is why I am going to celebrate his Birthday with the solemn dignity that he so deserves. Happy Birthday my friend. You may be Unsaved and you may be Trash, but to me you will always be unique and an inspiration to all of mankind.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-28jAoTPFw

Theophilus
03-13-2011, 06:40 PM
Awesome post!

Seriously?
03-14-2011, 06:39 AM
You forgot that even in the most stressful moment, he never, ever, uses bad language. His mouth is so clean you could... well, I'm not going there...

Soapboxmom
03-14-2011, 09:58 AM
This is when I question my belief in God. I haven't read a single report about you guys being struck by lightening or growing a nose that at least equals the circumference of the earth. But, I add my birthday wishes. We all love ya kid!

Soapboxmom

littleroundman
03-14-2011, 10:52 AM
This is when I question my belief in God. I haven't read a single report about you guys being struck by lightening or growing a nose that at least equals the circumference of the earth. But, I add my birthday wishes. We all love ya kid!

Soapboxmom

Go outside and into a forest or near a stream.

Sit and contemplate the wonder by which you're surrounded.

All of it in perfect harmony.

Expand your vision out to include the planet and the universe.

Millions upon millions of species, reactions, intertwining events.

Now tell me that the being which could have created all that would be in the least concerned with what a human being did or does and whether or not he/she eats meat on Friday, wears a hat in church or farts at inappropriate moments.

Whether or not one believes in a supreme being, I can almost guarantee he, she or it will NOT have the strictly human attributes of revenge and anger.

Can you imagine:

"Hmmn, what will I do today ?

I know, I'll create an unbelievably complicated eco system and call it the Amazon jungle.

Then, after lunch, I think I'll punish a few children who lied about why they didn't do their homework and cast a few unbaptised infants into eternal damnation just to teach their parents a lesson"

Yeah, right.

Mike!
03-14-2011, 03:17 PM
I'm always late for everything. Oh well, hope it was a good one!

wserra
03-14-2011, 05:19 PM
Now tell me that the being which could have created all that would be in the least concerned with what a human being did or does and whether or not he/she eats meat on Friday, wears a hat in church or farts at inappropriate moments.

"So here's God, lookin' at 9 trillion planets. A comet smashing into one of 'em. On another, a nuclear war's happening, dinosaurs *******, stars explodin'. All of a sudden, God says, "HOLD IT! . . . Put that fuckin' hat back on!"
- Chris Rush

Unsaved Trash
03-15-2011, 02:08 PM
Thank you all for the well wishes and other assorted remarks. Yes, I shall soon be entering my 39th year on this planet. However, I'm not going down without a fight. I'm letting my hair grow into the Justin Bieber look, I'm going to start wearing my pants below my ass, I'm going to take rap lessons, I'm wearing my baseball cap either sideways or backwards, and I think I'll order some MLM miracle vitamin potions that will return me to instant youth. I'm having a difficult time deciding if I want to ditch my scooter and my Depends, but something has to go.

As for the remark about me using "bad language," I prefer to call it colorful. Enema bag!

Soapboxmom
03-15-2011, 02:26 PM
You are going to be one hot birthday boy. Plumbers butt is defintiely in style judgeing from the pants at Dillard's! Have a great one!

Soapboxmom

laidback
03-15-2011, 02:36 PM
Thank you all for the well wishes and other assorted remarks. Yes, I shall soon be entering my 39th year on this planet. However, I'm not going down without a fight. I'm letting my hair grow into the Justin Bieber look, I'm going to start wearing my pants below my ass, I'm going to take rap lessons, I'm wearing my baseball cap either sideways or backwards, and I think I'll order some MLM miracle vitamin potions that will return me to instant youth. I'm having a difficult time deciding if I want to ditch my scooter and my Depends, but something has to go.

As for the remark about me using "bad language," I prefer to call it colorful. Enema bag!

Here's a trick for you that I used. When I reached 50, I started counting my birthdays backward, so now I'm only 34...! Have a Happy...!

Unsaved Trash
03-15-2011, 03:01 PM
Here's a trick for you that I used. When I reached 50, I started counting my birthdays backward, so now I'm only 34...! Have a Happy...!

Hate to tell you this, but I've been doing that for 20 years. Doesn't work either. What does work is when someone asks me my age, I just add 10 years to my real age and they always say that I don't look that old. Fortunately though, I really do like my age. I love the coupons that print out at Walgreens after I've scanned my AARP card. Loaded with values on fiber laxatives, adult diapers, senior vitamin and mineral supplements, back braces, canes, arch supports, arthritis pain relievers, compression socks, hemorrhoidal ointments, hair dyes, etc. I'm just waiting for the one that offers an aid to that "old man smell."

laidback
03-15-2011, 03:16 PM
Hate to tell you this, but I've been doing that for 20 years. Doesn't work either. What does work is when someone asks me my age, I just add 10 years to my real age and they always say that I don't look that old. Fortunately though, I really do like my age. I love the coupons that print out at Walgreens after I've scanned my AARP card. Loaded with values on fiber laxatives, adult diapers, senior vitamin and mineral supplements, back braces, canes, arch supports, arthritis pain relievers, compression socks, hemorrhoidal ointments, hair dyes, etc. I'm just waiting for the one that offers an aid to that "old man smell."


LOL, I think they call that deodorant...!